If you’ve ever wondered “How could Reche Caldwell not have seen that coming?,” well, now you have your answer.
The former Patriots wide receiver, known for his egregious dropped playoff pass and his wide-eyed reaction to it can add “worst criminal ever” to his resume.
In a frankly hilarious portrait of a criminal mastermind except without the mind part, David Fleming of ESPN details how exactly Caldwell ended up serving a 27-month sentence for a laundry list of charges from gambling to drug importing.
But the amazing part of Caldwell’s story is how oblivious he was to the fact he was being arrested multiple times.
When he was tracking a UPS shipment of drugs from China on his smart (or not) phone, it wasn’t until he signed for the package that he realized he had been busted again.
“I Googled it, baby!,” Caldwell explained to Fleming, when asked how he ended up in a comfortable Florida prison.
When a SWAT team broke down the door of the storefront gambling parlor he was running across the street from an elementary school (with coffee cans stuffed full of cash), he was eating a sandwich and wondering why they were so aggressive.
“Damn, man, you blasted the door with a tank?,” he asked. “Why didn’t ya just knock? I woulda let y’all in.”
Other than the fact he’s still in prison, Caldwell seems to be at peace with his football mistakes, his post-football mistakes (of which there are more) and proud of the fact his brother Andre just won a Super Bowl ring.
But his exploits are still a head-scratcher to those who love him, to their relief.
“Good lord that boy was a bad criminal,” his mother said, “and thank Jesus for that.”
Caldwell will be eligible for transfer to a work-release facility later this month, and we hope he has turned his back on a life of crime. Mostly because he’s really bad at it.
