1. 49ers (5-0, last week No. 1): The dominant 49ers will be in plenty of boring games this year. But not boring for their fans.
2. Eagles (5-0, No. 2): They’ve had a very easy start to the season, even if they’ve been trying to make it more difficult.
3. Chiefs (4-1, No. 3): If Taylor Swift didn’t attend a Chiefs win, does it make a sound?
4. Dolphins (4-1, No. 6): They’ll have to keep the offense going without De’Von Achane.
5. Lions (4-1, No. 8): They know how to win the games they should, which is one of the key ingredients to being great.
6. Seahawks (3-1, No. 7): The bye came at a good time, but now they’ve got 13 straight weeks with more than a few big games.
7. Jaguars (3-2, No. 13): 0-2 in Jacksonville. 2-0 in London. Just saying.
8. Bills (3-2, No. 5): The Jenga tower is starting to wobble again.
9. Cowboys (3-2, No. 4): The misguided quest for gloryhole continues.
10. Buccaneers (3-1, No. 10): Beat the Lions, and the Bucs will be taken very seriously.
11. Steelers (3-2, No. 15): It’s easy to criticize. It’s hard to win. And the Steelers have somehow won three games.
12. Colts (3-2, No. 16): Gardner Minshew can lay the foundation to finally start elsewhere.
13. Ravens (3-2, No. 9): If felt like the Ravens were trying to lose to the Steelers. And the Ravens still almost won.
14. Chargers (2-2, No. 14): Can they kick the Cowboys when they’re down?
15. Falcons (3-2, No. 19): Desmond Ridder delivered, just as the calls for Taylor Heinicke were getting very loud.
16. Saints (3-2, No. 22): The Saints will be the answer to the ultimate New England trivia question — who delivered the death blow to the Bill Belichick Patriots?
17. Browns (2-2, No. 17): They’ll need more than one week off to be ready for the 49ers.
18. Texans (2-3, No. 11): Two impressive wins got undermined in one fell swoop.
19. Rams (2-3, No. 12): They’ll be up and down all year long.
20. Titans (2-3, No. 21): They’ll be up and down all year long.
21. Jets (2-3, No. 23): Just when they were as down as they could get, they’re up.
22. Bengals (2-3, No. 24): Are they back? Get back to us if they beat the Seahawks.
23. Raiders (2-3, No. 30): Jimmy G is a “winner” — as long as he has enough other guys around to bail him out.
24. Packers (2-2, No. 18): Five picks in two prime-time games won’t make people feel a strong positive emotion about Jordan.
25. Commanders (2-3, No. 20): The always-smiling Magic Johnson suddenly isn’t.
26. Bears (1-4, No. 32): Can they string two wins together?
27. Vikings (1-4, No. 25): The Vikings are about to get a taste of a possible future without Justin Jefferson.
28. Cardinals (1-4, No. 26): They’ll always have that win over the Cowboys.
29. Giants (1-4, No. 28): It’s almost as if 2022 never happened.
30. Broncos (1-4, No. 29): Russell Wilson’s second year in Denver is starting to feel like his last one.
31. Panthers (0-5, No. 31): David Tepper might have failed the S2 test regarding whether to put stock in the S2 test.
32. Patriots (1-4, No. 27): The knives are out for a chronic curmudgeon who can’t coach his way out of a growing list of mistakes.
