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Kobe Bryant is wearing Grinch shoes on Christmas. Seriously.

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Kobe Bryant is going Grinch for Christmas.

Those shoes burning a hole in your retina to the right are the Grinch edition of the Nike Zoom Kobe VI (via The Basketball Jones), Kobe’s latest signature shoe. Based on the iconic Dr. Seuss character that’s as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, Kobe is going to put them on for the Christmas Day game against the Miami Heat.

Which seems fitting, as Kobe has all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile and he is going to try to steal the holiday fun from the Miami Heat. To rip their hearts out on national television, as his own little gift to Cleveland. Not that stealing the fun from the Heat is all that hard right now.

But at home Christmas afternoon, some poor father who just got a sweet new 42-inch flat screen, is going to spend an inordinate amount of time adjusting the color on the set because Kobe’s shoes are just not going to look right.