Bean: Ranking the NFL's 32 starting QBs ahead of Week 2
Moving! Shaking! Both at the same time! A new No. 1! Tom Brady plummeting! Josh Allen in the top 10! It’s insanity!
Now that we got to see these guys play football (thank goodness) the quarterback rankings are really cooking.
Last week’s ranking: 26
Week 1 stats: 20-of-30, 191 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
Really, there weren’t a lot of awful quarterback performances in Week 1. The worst, though? It had to be Fitzpatrick, the only quarterback to throw at least two more interceptions than touchdowns. I’d say he doesn’t deserve to be in this spot long, but you can also wonder how much longer he’ll remain under center anyway before it’s Tua Time.
Last week’s ranking: 32
Week 1 stats: 16-of-30, 208 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT
Taylor wasn’t terrible against the Bengals, he was just kind of there. That’s kind of been the deal with Taylor as a starter in his various stops. Even as one of the worst starters in the league, I expected a little more out of him in Week 1 given the receivers at his disposal.
Last week’s ranking: 19
Week 1 stats: 21-of-39, 189 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Boy, what the hell is Mayfield going to be? Is he just always going to be chasing the flash and promise of his rookie season, or is this what he is? Even the Progressive commercials make me a little sad.
Last week’s ranking: 31
Week 1 stats: 22-of-33, 216 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT
Lock had slightly better numbers than Dwayne Haskins, but he overthrew a potential game-sealing touchdown in a contest his team would lose.
Last week’s ranking: 30
Week 1 stats: 17-of-31, 178 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT
… whereas Haskins led a second half come-from-behind win over the Eagles. He’s got a clash of second-year QBs this week with Kyler Murray and the Cardinals.
Last week’s ranking: 24
Week 1 stats: 20-of-31, 275 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT
Sometimes life just feels like a never-ending game of “Is Jared Goff Good?” Under the bright lights of Sunday Night Football, Goff came out and made a statement that… life is indeed a never-ending game of “Is Jared Goff Good?”
Last week’s ranking: 25
Week 1 stats: 21-of-35, 215 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
I can’t hate on Sam Darnold. I just can’t. Watch the highlights of that game. Look at the box score. WHO DOES THIS GUY HAVE FOR OPTIONS?! Rattle them off in order. “Frank Gore” will be said WAY too early.
Last week’s ranking: 28
Week 1 stats: 23-of-36, 193 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT, 46 rush yards, 1 rush TD
Burrow had a perfectly cute NFL debut. Playing against a pretty bad team, he only turned the ball over once and made a nice play with a 23-yard touchdown run. Sure, they lost, but I call that a success if I’m the Bengals.
Last week’s ranking: 22
Week 1 stats: 22-of-30, 239 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT
Carr had a pretty clean showing in the Raiders’ win over the Panthers. Although they gave him a potential star receiver in Henry Ruggs, Sunday provided a reminder that this might be Josh Jacobs’ (93 yards, 3 TD) team.
Last week’s ranking: 23
Week 1 stats: 22-of-34, 270 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT
Derek Carr may have gotten the victory, but I was more impressed with Bridgewater’s performance considering he was doing it with a new team and added 26 yards on the ground. I’ll say it again: I have a good feeling about the Panthers, even if we don’t see it right away.
Last week’s ranking: 20
Week 1 stats: 26-of-41, 279 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT
The Giants had a chance to upset the Steelers in Week 1, but two things got in the way: Saquon Barkley couldn’t do anything on the ground against the Pittsburgh defense and Daniel Jones didn’t play the smartest game. The worst of it came when he threw a pick in the end zone to cap a 19-yard drive that could have taken the lead late in the third quarter. He was hit as he threw it, but he was also throwing it into a group of about 500 Steelers. Jones can clearly play; he just needs to make better decisions.
Last week’s ranking: 9
Week 1 stats: 24-of-42, 270 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT
Know who’s freaking out this week? EVERYONE over Carson Wentz. After an embarrassing loss to the Washington Football Team in which he had a 17-point lead and threw two picks, the Philadelphia press is all over their golden boy. Here’s a gem from the Philadelphia Inquirer: Carson Wentz lost the Eagles’ opener, not Doug Peterson or his teammates.
Last week’s ranking: 14
Week 1 stats: 36-of-46, 363 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT
He lost to the freaking Jaguars in his Colts debut, but I am happy to announce that for a second straight franchise, I will be absolving Philip Rivers of any wrongdoing. I fear T.Y. Hilton is cooked. Rivers G.O.A.T.
Last week’s ranking: 27
Week 1 stats: 19-of-20, 173 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Gardner, you slick son of a gun. Sunday against the Colts was supposed to be Step 1 of a 16-step process to acquire Trevor Lawrence. Instead, the placeholder quarterback showed out in an upset win over the Colts. I see you, Minshew.
Last week’s ranking: 7
Week 1 stats: 23-of-36, 239 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT rush TD
Oh you just hate to see it. It was a rough week for the no-one's-ever-allowed-to-criticize-Tom-Brady gang. When Brady followed (2) interceptions -- including a pick-six for a third straight game -- then threw a touchdown, Brady fans took aNd YoU tHoUgHt He WaS hAvInG a BaD gAmE victory laps. Well... he was still having a very bad game. Two interceptions, one of which is a score for the other team, is bad.
Last week’s ranking: 29
Week 1 stats: 20-of-36, 242 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Well hey now, Mitchell! The fourth-year quarterback was unimpressive for three quarters, then tossed three touchdown passes to lead the Bears over the Lions. The Bears caught some breaks -- including Jamie Collins getting ejected in the second quarter -- but they and Trubisky will take what they can get.
Last week’s ranking: 18
Week 1 stats: 15-of-19, 155 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT, 75 rush yards, 2 TD
Newton looked great in his Patriots debut, albeit against the Dolphins. He was accurate all day, but finished with the fewest passing yards of any starting quarterback in Week 1; we’ll see if he’ll be able to hold up running the ball as much as he did (15 carries).
Last week’s ranking: 5
Week 1 stats: 18-of-30, 160 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT
Only 160 yards passing against the Bucs? Yuck, Andrew.
Last week’s ranking: 8
Week 1 stats: 24-of-42, 297 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Stafford wasn’t anything special, but against the Bears defense that’s understandable. Plus, he was not ejected and did not take credit for the Malcolm Butler Super Bowl pick after the loss, meaning he hardly had the weirdest day for his team.
Last week’s ranking: 12
Week 1 stats: 19-of-25, 259 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, 34 rush yards
Cousins gave a Cousins-like performance, which is encouraging given that he still looked like himself in his first game since Stefon Diggs was traded. It was not encouraging because teams prefer to win.
Last week’s ranking: 17
Week 1 stats: 19-of-33, 259 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT
Garoppolo came up short on a potential game-winning drive, but he was really throwing to nothing. George Kittle hurt his knee and the 49ers were already without Deebo Samuel and first-round pick Brandon Aiyuk.
Last week’s ranking: 10
Week 1 stats: 25-of-39, 266 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT, 30 rush yards
Like Jimmy G, Prescott came up short trying to lead a game-winning drive at the end of Week 1. A huge play was negated by offensive interference, dooming Prescott’s comeback bid. Still, he was adequate against a good Rams defense. Things figure to get easier this week against Atlanta.
Last week’s ranking: 11
Week 1 stats: 37-of-54, 450 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT
Ryan threw a bazillion passes for a bazillion yards, which is going to happen when you’re down 13 in the fourth quarter. The positive is that even against a great defense, Ryan was still able to help Julio Jones (157 receiving yards), Calvin Ridley (130 yards, two touchdowns) and Russell Gage (114 yards) to mammoth performances.
Last week’s ranking: 16
Week 1 stats: 29-of-43, 249 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT
Tannehill wasn’t incredible in that MNF win, but he was harmless and finished with strong numbers. I think that’s just kind of what he is now.
Last week’s ranking: 15
Week 1 stats: 21-of-32, 229 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Roethlisberger looked strong in his first game back from his lost season. If he stays healthy, the AFC North is going to be mighty interesting.
Last week’s ranking: 21
Week 1 stats: 33-of-46, 312 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT, 57 rush yards, 1 rush TD
Well, well, well, Josh Allen! The good news is that Allen started off his third season with one of the three best performances of his career. The bad news is that it was against the Jets. The great news is that up next he’s got the Dolphins, who were horrible offensively in Week 1. Are we about to have Josh Allen in the top 10 for two straight weeks?
![<p><strong>Last week’s ranking:</strong> 4<br />
<strong>Week 1 stats:</strong> 20-of-32, 253 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 1 rush TD<br />
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Through little fault of his own, Watson might not be winning a lot out of the gate here. He gave a performance strong enough to do so in Week 1, but just happened to be going up against a team with a monster offense. Now he’s got Lamar Jackson and the Ravens in Week 2. [Sigh] DeAndre Hopkins sure looked good for the Cardinals, though.</p>](https://media.nbcsportsboston.com/2023/05/Watson_Deshaun_USATSI_13767541.jpg?quality=85&strip=all&fit=1920%2C1080)
Last week’s ranking: 4
Week 1 stats: 20-of-32, 253 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 1 rush TD
Through little fault of his own, Watson might not be winning a lot out of the gate here. He gave a performance strong enough to do so in Week 1, but just happened to be going up against a team with a monster offense. Now he’s got Lamar Jackson and the Ravens in Week 2. [Sigh] DeAndre Hopkins sure looked good for the Cardinals, though.
Last week’s ranking: 13
Week 1 stats: 26-of-40, 230 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 91 rush yards, 1 rush TD
Nothing but respect for my 2020 NFL MVP. We’re talking about the defending NFC champion 49ers, a team that got to the Super Bowl thanks to an elite defense, and what does this second-year quarterback do? Oh nothing, just put up over 300 total yards in leading one of the bigger upsets of Week 1.
Last week’s ranking: 6
Week 1 stats: 32-of-44, 364 yards, 4 TD, 0 INT
I’ve got to hand out a double “whoops” here. First off, people who thought Rodgers was done? Come on. Also, after watching Rodgers go the hell off against the Vikings, might the Packers be thinking they should have gotten him some help instead of his replacement in the first round?
Last week’s ranking: 2
Week 1 stats: 20-of-25, 275 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT, 45 rush yards
After leading the NFL with 36 passing touchdowns last season, Jackson kept up that pace against the Browns. He was named the AFC offensive player of the week for his efforts.
Last week’s ranking: 1
Week 1 stats: 24-of-32, 211 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Mahomes was brilliant as usual in the season-opener, disturbing the wealth evenly between Sammy Watkins, Travis Kelce and Tyreek Hill. Add in that Clyde Edwards-Helaire is clearly worth the hype and this offense is going to be terrifying yet again.
Last week’s ranking: 3
Week 1 stats: 31-of-35, 322 yards, 4 TD, 0 INT
It was going to take a lot to move Patrick Mahomes out of the top spot. Is racking up 322 passing yards and four touchdowns with only four incompletions a lot? I’d say so. The Patriots are going to have their hands full with this guy.
