Quarterback Mark Sanchez — who did actually play for the Bears, you'll recall — has officially retired from the NFL

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The thing about the Chicago Bears franchise is that, unlike a lot of other NFL teams that are forced to manufacture prestige into their history, the Bears let their past speak for itself. George Halas founded the league, Walter Payton revolutionized it, and the '85 defense terrorized it. Walking through Halas Hall is as immersive a dive into the sport's history as any team can offer. 

Part of that history, forever enshrined within the sturdy, wind-whipped walls of Soldier Field, includes our story's hero, Mark Sanchez. After 8 NFL seasons that felt more like 12 NFL seasons, Mark has retired: 

The same Mark Sanchez that was going to save the Jets? Yes, that Mark Sanchez. The butt fumble guy. He did, if you try hard enough to remember, play for the Bears at one point. Here he is giving Mitch Trubisky a pep talk that Mitch is totally digging and definitely listening to: 

Here he is giving Mitch some profound wisdom that would actually be pretty good advice were it not such a painfully-thin reflection on his own experience:

“He’s not married, he doesn’t have any kids. You don’t need a five-bedroom place to look after for all your buddies to live in,” Sanchez said. “If you want another responsibility, get a dog or something.”

And now his watch has ended. 

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